Birchbox: February 2015

So my February Birchbox arrived quite late due to weather and a slight billing snafu with my card.  For security reasons my card had to be reissued with a new number and it happened right before Birchbox billing so the charge didn’t go through. I got an email from Birchbox about the problem and within a couple hours of sending the email I corrected the problem. If you’re familiar with Birchbox you know that they offer their members the option of choosing one sample for their box or selecting a curated box. Unfortunately my billing issue somehow negated my sample choice and as punishment I received this terrible box (sorry for the spoilers). Birchbox customer service was however awesome as usual and did manage to scrounge up my sample choice (the sea salt spray)and send it out to me separately.

So now let’s get to this box.

Like so many things with a cheerful exterior, this one harbored much sadness within.
Box
Marcelle Gentle Eye Make-Up Remover For Sensitive Eyes
(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: Hypoallergenic formula that’s tough on even long-lasting makeup, but gentle on the eyes.”
Verdict: Miss/Gift
This was one of our sample choices. One that I didn’t choose. But I assume that my payment snafu means that my punishment was getting all the leftover samples no one else wanted. Now this is a good size sample, but I don’t use eye makeup removers because they are typically drying and not very effective. Instead, I use an oil cleanser. They easily dissolve even the most hardcore mascara and eyeliner while still keeping your skin hydrated. I can’t recommend them enough.


Gloss
theBalm® cosmetics Read My Lips™ Lip Gloss in BAM!
(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: Fortified with antioxidant-rich ginseng, this gloss imparts rich color and loads of shine.”
Verdict: Miss/Gift
Oh look it’s another of the sample choices that I didn’t choose (from the curated box). Normally I like makeup samples but I feel like I keep getting these same type of glosses over and over. I’ve got so many lip products so I’m just going to pass this along to a friend.

Scrub
derma e® Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Glycolic Scrub

(Full Size: $12.75)
Description: This all-natural cleanser sloughs off dull ksin, fades dark spots, and cleans pores.”
Verdict: Goddamn it Birchbox, I got the point.
Three for three on the “samples I didn’t choose because I don’t really want them”. This was another one in the curated box. I actually don’t mind this one as much as the others because I do use face scrubs, but I have a ton and this just isn’t that interesting to me.

Soap
Proper Bar Soap Elderflower

(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: ”This French-milled soap hydrates skin with she and olive oils as it cleanses.”
Verdict: Wow, it gets worse
Thanks for the free hotel soap. Wait, this might actually be smaller than the soap hotels give you for free. Seriously, what the hell? If you’re going to put in bar soap at least make them a decent size. The scent on this sounds nice but I have plenty of full size bar soap and this is just too chintzy to even give someone.

Conditioner
BeeKind™ Conditioner

(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: ”This gentle formula, made with honey and organic calendula softens hari and ups shine.
Verdict: Go home Birchbox, you’re drunk
You know what will go great with our free hotel soap? A foil packet. Just one. Oh and not for shampoo, just for conditioner. What do you mean your hair is dirty? Just scrub it with the hotel soap and then use this foil packet.

OVERALL
Full Box

Verdict: You win Birchbox.
I do solemnly swear that I will never, ever, ever, did I say EVER?, let my billing info get screwed up again.
Pinky swear.  So we’re cool now, right?

This is by far the worst Birchbox I’ve ever received. I know some of you will probably like the bigger samples, but they were all things I didn’t choose because I don’t use them or already have too many. The soap and foil packet are pretty ridiculous and should only be included as extras.

I paid $10.70 for this box and couldn’t use or hated everything. I reviewed all the items so I received $5 worth of Birchbox points, which is the only saving grace. I didn’t select a sample for March, so it will be a total surprise box.   I did snag a Birchbox plus item so there’s at least one thing I’ll like in the box.  Be sure to come back and see if I got yet another Shampoo/Conditioner or lip gloss.  Hell, maybe the next one will include one of those free hotel toiletry kits.

What did you get in your Birchbox this month? Did you get an foil packets or super tiny samples?

THE BACKSTORY

Birchbox subscriptions cost $10 per month or $110 per year (Women’s Sub)
$20 per month or $195 per year (Men’s Sub)

Points System:
Whenever you buy something at Birchbox they give you Birchbox points. $1.00 = 1 Birchbox Point.
Each 100 Birchbox reward points can be redeemed for $10.00.
You can also earn points by reviewing the samples they send you (10 points per sample) and referring/subscribing friends.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, Lisa attended Syracuse University where she studied singing in a giant castle surrounded by ice and snow. After she earned her music degree, she headed to the island of Manhattan, down to the West Village, to a place called the New School. There, she earned another degree in the great art of writing stories for children. She currently works on that same island, in the dungeon of an old building, making up stories while she sorts through endless stacks of papers, just dreaming of working somewhere with windows. She is currently working on several novels and hopes to write her way to that aforementioned windowed place. Her first book, “The Ice Maiden’s Tale,” a fairy tale adventure was released on May 30, 2017 and is up for sale on Amazon. In the meantime, she keeps herself occupied by obsessing over subscription boxes and home renovations.

13 thoughts on “Birchbox: February 2015

  1. Yeah, Sadly this is all I’ve been getting. The past 6 months I only had one good box. I don’t know why they even would ship out such crappy boxes???? I even emailed them and they told me to do this other quiz thing but again this month was still Horrible. :/
    Not happy with them.

  2. Lol! At least you put a funny spin on it! What Oil cleansers do you recommend? I love the Philosophy Just Release Me makeup remover and I don’t find it drying at all. It is more on the oily side though 🙂

    • Julep Bareface Cleansing oil is my go to. It removes makeup and works as a great cleanser. It’s my favorite Julep product (which is saying a lot since I use a ton of their stuff). It’s not sticky like some oil cleansers are and it has a really pleasant scent (like a light citrus).

      • I’ve heard a lot of people like that one! The only one I have used similar to that is The Body Shop’s cleansing cream. But I am about to try the Dermalogica PreCleanse oil 🙂

    • Thanks for the commiseration. I really don’t understand the logic in the box at all. On the bright side the next one has to be better, it’s nearly impossible for it not to be (and I probably just jinxed myself).

  3. Sorry you didn’t like your box! I wouldn’t have been too jazzed about yours, either. I like theBalm’s lip gloss, but like you said, we get one almost every month. Hopefully next month will be better!

  4. This did make me giggle a bit (your spin on it, not your misfortune). I had amnesia apparently and this month chose a Plus item, forgetting that it means getting your box Glossybox-style-late. Maybe they’ll hide an Easter egg in it. The glosses all do tend to be a slightly pinker than natural lip color pink – unless they come from Ipsy then they come in colors like Acid Pink.

    • I don’t even have an idea of how many pink glosses I own at this point and I think every single one has come from a sub box. I just got my Birchbox with the plus item (and the box is much bigger than I thought it would be). I haven’t opened it yet, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

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