Walmart Beauty Box: Winter 2014

I usually don’t purchase much drugstore makeup but when Walmart introduced their own seasonal beauty box at an affordable $5 a quarter, I knew I needed to try it out for you guys.
Box

After the first box, subscribers soon realized that Walmart had created two categories for boxes which pretty much broke down into the following: young sluts and old heifers (isn’t that just some social commentary for ya). It was soon determined that the line of delineation was the birthdate you entered when you signed up. Under 35, you’re a young slut, 35 and over – you’re an old heifer. (Because 2014 wasn’t a hard enough year for me, Walmart felt the need to make my 35th birthday seem that much more traumatic, I truly cannot thank them enough.)

So when I signed up I was 34 so I got the young slut box. Now I’m 35 and the big question seemed to be if they’d adjust the boxes and I’d graduate to an old heifer, or if it’d be “once a young slut always a young slut.” Thank god I have Walmart to tell me what beauty products are age appropriate.
Open Box

So into the box:

Jergens
Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream, Light Skin Tones
(Deluxe Sample)

(7.5 fl oz Retail: $11.97)
Description: Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream instantly visibly improves skin and gradually perfects skin over five days of use. Specially formulated with self-adjusting tone technology, each application provides a customized solution for your skin tone, giving you long-lasting, beautiful results. See visibly improved skin after just one day and experience five visible benefits after just five days. 1. Hydrates and smoothes. 2. Brightens and illuminates. 3. Evens skin tone. 4. Visibly firms skin. 5. Minimizes the appearance of imperfections. Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream makes skin visibly more beautiful..”
Verdict: Hit!
This sounds like an interesting product and it’s not one I would have picked up on my own. Thankfully I got the “light” shade but it would suck if you got a shade completely opposite of your complexion.

Nivea
NIVEA Cocoa Butter Body Lotion
(Sample w/ coupon)
(16.9 fl oz Retail: $4.97)
Description: NIVEA Cocoa Butter Body Lotion intensively hydrates and provides long-lasting moisture. Its nourishing formula absorbs quickly and instantly moisturizes, and leaves skin soft, smooth, and healthy looking. With vitamin E and cocoa butter, NIVEA Cocoa Butter Body Lotion also features Hydra IQ Technology to support skin’s own hydration network to unleash deep, non-stop moisture that lasts more than 24 hours.”
Verdict: Miss
To begin I hate foil packets in boxes. If I can get it for free in a magazine, I don’t think it belongs in a sub box. Putting that aside, I don’t really care for the smell of cocoa butter so this isn’t a lotion I’d use.


Maybelline
Maybelline Dream Wonder Powder (Sample Card w/ coupon)
(0.28 oz Retail: $6.94)
Description: Maybelline Dream Wonder powder feels like powderless powder. Creamy glide, smooth flawless finish, and perfect skin for 100% second-skin perfection.”
Verdict: Miss
Again, this sample really isn’t worth it. You can get it from any magazine and I don’t think it’s really enough to decide if you like the powder.


Shampoo & Conditioner
L’Oreal Paris Hair Expertise OleoTherapy Oil Infused Shampoo & Conditioner (Deluxe Travel Size)
(8.5 oz Retail: $5.79/$5.59)
Description: L’Oreal Paris Hair Expertise OleoTherapy Oil Infused Shampoo: 6 flower oils, Intense nutrition, Silky feel, For dull, dry or damaged hair, Sulfate-free system & Gently conditions dull, dry or damaged hair while providing intense nutrition and shine.”
Verdict: Like
Oddly I couldn’t find the Conditioner on Walmart’s site. With winter in full swing, I can always use some extra moisture in my beauty products .  I do splurge on expensive shampoos and conditioners but I intersperse my use with more economical brands. I find switching it up regularly keeps my hair healthier and helps me get more out of my pricier products.

Wipes
Olay Fresh Effects Everything Off! Deluxe Make-Up Removal Wet Cloths

(25 sheets Retail: $3.97)
Description: “Get make-up off without all the fuss. Olay Fresh Effects Everything Off! Deluxe Make-Up Removal Wet Cloths do the dirty work for you, easily lifting away dirt, oil, and stubborn make-up–even waterproof mascara. They come in a resealable packet of 25 cloths that’s perfect for on-the-go.”
Verdict: Hit!
This is the most useful item in the bag for me. I try not to use makeup wipes too much because they can be drying, but I always keep some on hand for times when I just need to get my makeup off asap. They are also great for traveling when you don’t want to lug around a ton of products.

LipstickLipstick Name
Swatch
Maybelline Color Sensational The Buffs Lip Color
in Maple Kiss

(0.15 oz Full size: $4.97)
Description: Nude lipstick color comes alive with Maybelline Color Sensational The Buffs Lip Color. True nude lip color pigments for honest flesh tone color. Uniquely sensuous feel from precious oils. Raw. Real. Pigments explode with sensuous impact–sensational.”
Verdict: Gift
Unfortunately, this color on me just leans too orange, so I’m passing it along to my Mom. It did feel nice going on and seemed hydrating. I wouldn’t hesitate to buy one of the other nude shades that might be more complimentary for me.

 OVERALL
Full Box
Verdict:
Like

From my internet searches it appears I am still a young slut as the old heifer boxes seemed to contain a plethora of moisturizers and not much else. I mostly get this box for the sake of reviewing it, so anytime my $5 buys me items I might use for myself I’m happy. If the lipstick had been in a better shade for my skintone I would have labeled this box a hit.

Now I’m going to go ahead and state the obvious.  Walmart really, really REALLY needs to change this whole young/old thing. It ends up being offensive and it’s not actually succeeding at getting the products people are interested in to them because plenty of folks under 35 use anti-wrinkle products and plenty of ladies over 35 love lip gloss. How about instead of a birthdate you ask the following: “Are you interested in anti-aging products?” If the person answers yes, then throw in some of those old heifer items. If the person says no, then leave them out of the box. I know, I know, such a radical, off the wall solution. With such innovative problem solving skills it’s shocking I don’t have a job in the beauty industry.

Did you order one of these boxes? If so, were you a young slut or an old heifer?

THE BACKSTORY

Walmart subscriptions cost $5 per quarter and you receive a box seasonally (four times a year.)

Once upon a time, long, long ago, Lisa attended Syracuse University where she studied singing in a giant castle surrounded by ice and snow. After she earned her music degree, she headed to the island of Manhattan, down to the West Village, to a place called the New School. There, she earned another degree in the great art of writing stories for children. She currently works on that same island, in the dungeon of an old building, making up stories while she sorts through endless stacks of papers, just dreaming of working somewhere with windows. She is currently working on several novels and hopes to write her way to that aforementioned windowed place. Her first book, “The Ice Maiden’s Tale,” a fairy tale adventure was released on May 30, 2017 and is up for sale on Amazon. In the meantime, she keeps herself occupied by obsessing over subscription boxes and home renovations.

15 thoughts on “Walmart Beauty Box: Winter 2014

  1. LOL “young slut or an old heifer”. I’m kind of glad I didn’t know about this box… I’m just going to have to pass on this one, plus, I don’t want to be known as an old heifer! 🙂

  2. Love your writing style! I’m an even older heifer (turned 40 in 2014) and my box differs from yours – so maybe in 5 years you too can get the box of age cream enjoy being a young slut a bit longer

    I received Ponds wet cleansing ‘towelettes’ in ‘Original Fresh’ (5 of them), Ponds Rejuveness Anti wrinkle cream (1.75 oz jar). Dove deep moisture body wash (1.8 oz), Dove Oxygen Moisture shampoo and conditioner (each 1 oz) – I’ll give those to my husband as they are for fine limp hair and I’m blessed w/o that problem, he is not. I also got the Maybelline coupon and powder – not sure shade but I’m Elmer’s glue white and it isn’t. Then the thing I got I’m actually excited to try is Covergirl Outlast in wine-to-five – not as dark as it sounds. $5 and I’m super content.

    • Thanks! I got Dove hair products in the Fall box, so maybe they are rotating that amongst the “young” and “old” boxes. I’m a natural redhead so I’m as pale as they come so I wont’ be using that powder either.

  3. Hahaha this cracked me up! I am a young slut at the ripe ol age of 27..guess I have a few years left in me before passing over to “one foot in the grave” category!

    • It’s not actually called that, I’m just being facetious ;-). But there actually are two different types of boxes and they are based on younger/older than 35 delineation.

  4. I searched “Are Walmart beauty boxes based on age” and came across this site. Perfect! I apparently am a heifer as the last two boxes were full of anti-wrinkle creams. Pretty bummed after the first box had some great stuff in it. Soooo…I changed my birthday. I guess I’m masquerading as a young slut now! Can’t wait for my lipgloss:)

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