Birchbox: May 2014

May’s Birchbox’s theme was “freewheeling” and featured a coupon offer from Kate Spade Saturday. I loved the cheerful yellow. It screamed out springtime.
BB#1

I hoard the cardboard birchboxes. They have a million uses. Seriously.
BB#2

Now let’s get inside.
Open

Shampoo & Conditioner
Beauty Protector Protect & Shampoo
(8 oz. Retail: $21.95)
Description: In addition to honey pearl powder, Protect & Shampoo is packed with rich vitamins and a gentle mix of sulfate-free cleaning agents. This powerhouse lineup cleanses and nourishes your strands.”
Verdict: Miss
While I love getting hair products, when I tried this one out I felt like it stripped my hair a bit. I’ve tried so many other great shampoos and this one just doesn’t measure up for me.

Beauty Protector Protect & Condition
(8 oz. Retail: $21.95)
Description: In addition to honey pearl powder, Protect & Condition is formulated with natural ingredients like shea butter and apple, lemon, and orange extracts. Together, they hydrate and nourish hair with vitamins and minerals.”
Verdict: Okay
While I liked this better than the corresponding shampoo, I just didn’t find it particularly compelling. This brand is known for its beauty oil, (which I received and then promptly broke) so if you’re going to give something a shot from this line, I’d probably opt for that.

 LAQUA
LAQA & Co. Sheer Lip Lube Pencil
in Bees Knees (Coral)
(Full Size: $18.00)
Description: “Unlike some glosses that simply provide a nice shine, this lip lube channels softening shea butter, which moisturizes and fills in any unsightly lines, and is infused with refreshing mint. Available in an array of wearable, softly pigmented shades.”
Verdict: Hit!
This item made the entire box for me. These lip pens go on really smoothly and feel very moisturizing. It gives a soft pigment and while this shade was a little pale for me, it was perfect when I topped it with a gold glitter gloss. I think these would be great for summer when you want a hint of color and something hydrating for your lips.

Breath Crystals
32 Oral Care Effervescent Breath Crystals with IsoVoxy
(30 Count Retail: $14.75)
Description: “Unlike gum and breath mints, which only mask bad breath, these teeth-cleaning crystals pack zinc and IsoVoxy to kill odor-causing bacteria. Once dissolved, they leave a fresh scent courtesy of natural peppermint flavors.”
Verdict: Miss
Cause breath mints are so 2000? I have no idea why anyone really needs this. I don’t like that crystal texture and a regular old Altoid has never failed me in my quest for minty fresh breath. Although this is just the sort of thing MacGiver could turn into a bomb, so if you frequently need to escape Columbian drug traffickers add this and some dental floss to your bag as an escape plan.

Sunblock
Supergoop!® Everyday SPF 30 with Cellular Response Technology
(18 oz Retail: $48.00)
Description: “This lightweight sunscreen quickly soaks into skin—but since it’s noncomedogenic, it doesn’t clog pores. It’s loaded with beta-glucan for moisture and free radical-fighting antioxidants to keep skin looking young. And its scent—a subtle botanical fragrance with hints of citrus and basil—beats the typical sweet, pseudo-tropical sunscreen smell any day.”
Verdict: Miss
Listen Birchbox, we need to have a talk. I told you I was a ginger. A pale, soulless, burn at the idea of sun, ginger. Sunblock is wonderful, sunblock products with an SPF of 30 are a joke for me. If I walk outside with this stuff on, the sun will fall out of the sky from laughing at me and will say something like “You finally just gave up and decided to get skin cancer, right? I WIN.” The moral of my little fable is STOP SENDING ME LOW SPF SUNBLOCK. If it ain’t at least 50 I don’t want to see it. And I don’t care if they claim anything above 35 is bullshit—any redhead will tell you that’s a lie that the non-melanin challenged tell themselves so they don’t have to go to the part of the aisle where the 70+ sunblock lives.

 Full Box
OVERALL
Verdict:
Hit!

Although this box had very little I liked, the LAQA lip pencil made it worth it for me.  Without it, this box would have been a big miss. I’m also very tired of the low SPF sunblock products (if you hadn’t noticed). I’d really love to see things that are available in higher SPFs since those are the products I am always on the lookout for.

With tax I paid $10.70 and after reviewing each item, my points got me the equivalent of $5.00.

What did you get in your Birchbox?
How do you feel about “breath crystals”? Useless or the enlightened way to freshen breath?

THE BACKSTORY

Birchbox subscriptions cost $10 per month or $110 per year.

Your options: Women’s Box or Men’s Box

Points System:
Whenever you buy something at Birchbox they give you Birchbox points. $1.00 = 1 Birchbox Point.
Each 100 Birchbox reward points can be redeemed for $10.00.
You can also earn points by reviewing the samples they send you (10 points per sample) and referring/subscribing friends. If your review all the items you receive in your box each month, you’ll receive 50 Birchbox rewards points!
If you purchase a full size of one of the sample items they sent you in that same month, you receive free shipping on them and often extra points.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, Lisa attended Syracuse University where she studied singing in a giant castle surrounded by ice and snow. After she earned her music degree, she headed to the island of Manhattan, down to the West Village, to a place called the New School. There, she earned another degree in the great art of writing stories for children. She currently works on that same island, in the dungeon of an old building, making up stories while she sorts through endless stacks of papers, just dreaming of working somewhere with windows. She is currently working on several novels and hopes to write her way to that aforementioned windowed place. Her first book, “The Ice Maiden’s Tale,” a fairy tale adventure was released on May 30, 2017 and is up for sale on Amazon. In the meantime, she keeps herself occupied by obsessing over subscription boxes and home renovations.

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